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Lament for the Living

by Winter Light

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1.
2.
Heat 04:04
heat (reprise) It’s been raining for days outside my window I guess, summer is over Have you been to the seaside with your dad? Has your mum been staying sober? And what about your sister and the ghost of him haunting the rooms of the house ever since the night i returned to you and we cried but when you begged me to come to the funeral, i renounced do you still sleep on the mattress on the floor did you fix the framework, did you change the sheets you always said you never wanted this i used to say you're all i need and if we talked it through like we should've done months ago, windows open, the ceiling fan twirling through the room one dying night over cigarettes and wine i would do anything if you asked me to I'd move the sun so you would never have to see the light i'd change the weather so you would never have to bleed like the plants on your floor, would you hold me if i froze or have you come to loathe my body heat?
3.
Surfeit 02:26
surfeit I would start smoking again if the taste wouldn't make me sick so I guess I'll call up old friends over nothing take a trip through the mountains and wind up in a ditch I don't even like them, but I don't want to smoke alone another bathroom tile every night, crying for you to take me home. you gave me speed, i gave you my time on a cemetery bench, we ran out before you could stop talking now i'm not high at all and I'm tired just one more cigarette and we'll leave but you've been smoking for hours, then let me walk home all by myself. a moment of silence, you ruined once more i thought about pulling out your teeth comely alignments with cigarette butts on your bedroom floor i thought I craved the attention with all of my heart then merely my skin and my bones till the goosebumps had worn off
4.
Funeral I 03:08
funeral a graveyard town a deathly mass dressed to the nines, black lace over darker eyes a wooden coffin an endmost bed amidst the silken sheets i will lay myself to rest and hope they bury you with me and put flowers on our pallid bodies with a sepulchral sign that says i do not mind anymore.
5.
Funeral II 04:12
funeral II i find solace in death flowers are only beautiful when dead never knew peace but found quiet on a necropolis you kissed me under willow boughs gave buoyancy to the mourners never knew content but for once didn't fear the end i lay down on the meadow the tombstones don't hurt me now you laughed at the irony of my rapture in open grounds filled with so much sorrow
6.
Garden Sage 02:26
garden sage will you plant garden sage on my sunken grave and detain the letters reading my name from starting to fade i don't want to be missed, i just want to be recalled will you perpetuate me in an elegy before you clean out the rooms of your heart i used to occupy but keep a picture frame hanging on the wall and a desiccated forget-me-not garden sage II you're lilac like garden sage on the graveyard i stole a kiss from you and you told me you loved me but you didn't like the color cause you couldn't tell the purple from the blue i said, you don't have to as long as i do now you're lilac like garden sage on the graveyard of my mind or desiccated on the walls of my room.
7.
the predator's party crocodile's tears on a jungle themed ceremony blowing up balloons and paper streamers with short-windedness, I cried for the moon to fall prey to my lover in my dreams
8.
Siren Sounds 03:10
siren sounds I used to cry over the sirens now I live next to the fire department, railway lines and an open complex comparted between the come-downs and the silent but it's alright. I don't feel safe in my room in the middle of the night, where the delinquent and the drinkers walk by if a train derails and crashes right though my window i do not mind. When I'm home alone, kissing bathroom tiles bruised knees and my throat is soar from throwing up my teeth, black and rotten, right onto the floor i do not fear the darkness of the night and it'll be fine. You fell in love with a rabbit hearted girl but now I'm always high or crying in the supermarket aisles and no longer afraid of the world but my mind.
9.
scorpio placements I blame my scorpio placements for crying in the back of an ambulance after the party, when everyone had left we made love in your childhood bed and i thought about death.
10.
Garlands 02:20
garlands february's passed and we've turned down the radiator except for in your room so when you come home, it'll feel like winter we'll light the candles and talk until the early hours to find a state of grace in your mind a home inside these empty houses but we will sleep in different rooms my cracked wooden door i will leave ajar for you for when you feel alone and when you woe i'll hang garlands over our heads spelling out it'll be fine in golden letters i will lend you my favorite sweater for when you're cold even though you're not until you don't have to anymore
11.
Bouquet 02:07
bouquet we took the phone out a year ago the night before you left to Idaho moved back into your parents basement woking 9 to 5 at the flowery, playing shows on the weekend stolen deadheads gracing your bedrooms walls you never cared for me half as much, you didn't even call the leaves outside your window have changed colors twice more you're still at the same place you were before you met me and i left you for something different now you're telling stories of me to your new friends like a dog that ran away, if i ever show up on your doorsteps i swear to god i will rip my teeth into your flesh now i sleep on the floor, like you never wanted to yet you don't have a bed frame, not even a home to put it into still i kept the cats, you kept the furniture you miss them more than i'd ever miss you or the summer nights we spent hiding from the heat of the sun you were never soil, i could ever grow on

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released October 31, 2020

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Winter Light Umeå, Sweden

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